Being Better Than McCain - Sturgis
If you can do a McCain speech Better Than McCain, but need a suggestion… go no further than these cringeworthy examples of Jammacainian speechifying from prepared remarks on a music stand (yes, someone was paid to write these lines for him) this week at Sturgis, warming-up the crowd before Kid Rock. And remember, being Better Than McCain while engaged in an activity receives bonus points.
“I was looking at the Sturgis schedule, and notice that you have a beauty pageant. And so, I encouraged Cindy to compete. I told her, with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both First Lady, AND MS. BUFFALO CHIP!”
“Is there anybody that’s tired of paying four dollars a buck four dollars a gallon for gasoline? Is there anybody that’s sick and tired of it? Is there anybody that wants to become energy independent? Well I’m telling you right now we’re sending 700 billion dollars every year, and your Congress just went on vacation for five weeks. Tell ‘em to come back and get to work. Tell ‘em to get to work! When I’m President of the United States, I’m not going to let them go on vacation, they’re gonna become energy independent, and we’re not going to pay four dollars a gallon for gas because we’re gonna drill off-shore, and we’re gonna drill now! And we’re gonna drill here, and we’re gonna drill now! My opponent doesn’t wanna drill, he doesn’t want nuclear power, he wants you to inflate your tires! My friends, we need a Commander in Chief, we need a Commander in Chief who’ll end the war in Iraq, but will win it the right way, and that’s by winning it.”